It was the first time I cried uncontrollably as an adult. My father was forever gone.
The hardest thing you will ever experience is losing someone you love. The feeling of loss is indescribable. The realization of forever is extremely difficult to accept. Death is so permanent. So irreversible.
I’ve lost a few of my closest and beloved family members over the past several years. From those experiences, I’ve come to grips with what death represents, why change is always inevitable, and why time spent living a meaningful life is the most important thing to cherish.
Celebrate Life To Appreciate Death
We all live in fear of the end. We tiptoe around danger knowing that there is no going back from sudden termination. While we should never be crippled by this fear, it’s an understandable outlook for our species. We recognize the gift of life and choose to prolong it for as long as we possibly can.
Living life to the fullest despite these fears is the objective. I call it “Carefully living with no regrets.” Act conservatively, but plan ambitiously. When you do the things you want to do in life, you feel more fulfilled, and death slowly becomes more acceptable as we live on.
I’ve heard dozens of stories from friends that have conversed with elderly family members. The older an individual is, the more content they are with their expiration. It’s empowering to know that you lived life to the fullest, have no regrets, and gave everything you could to the world. That’s the best way to leave this life.
Laughing About Death
Without sounding insensitive to unexpected deaths, or terrible fatalities due to horrific circumstances, I would like to share how I was able to overcome my bout of melancholy following my father’s passing. My family and I were able to combat our emotions and send my dad out with the party he would have wanted. But we were able to do it because we understood how accepting he was of his fate.
Rather than hold a standard funeral for him, we rented out one of his favorite private spaces, gathered friends and family there, and told amazing stories about him. One by one, we voluntarily approached the stage to laugh about the good times we shared with him. Stories came from his close childhood friends all the way to more indirect acquaintances that interfaced with him only momentarily.
The point of the get together was to laugh. Even if we picked on some of his flaws, we had a great time remembering the legacy he left behind. We didn’t sit around crying what we lost. Instead, we amplified those times that we could have forgotten if we didn’t actively explore the databases in our brains.
Introducing Funeral Roasts
After this event, I thought more about the mourning process. Of course, as soon as we lost my father, we all were distraught and completely consumed by our justifiable hysterics. But after we initially poured out these immediate emotions, we faced reality and organized our realistic thoughts.
So I came up with a way to help others in a similar situation coordinate a celebration instead of a funeral. The result is Funeral Roast.
The concept is exactly as it seems. We help to plan a party that will celebrate and appreciate the deceased. It’s a new type of funeral – and we can bring in your favorite comedians to help make the event an even more meaningful one.
We’re Left With the Memories
It has been 4 years since I lost my dad. I think about him often. Whenever I do, I am flooded with many emotions. Because of the way we chose to celebrate him, I first think of the great times we had, but I’ll admit that I’ll still resort to wishing he was around at least to see his grandchildren.
We might not be able to change the past, but we can plan for the future. As long as I have the positive and joyful memories embedded alongside his legacy, my children will remember him for the life he lived rather than any form of sadness that his absence generates.
We all will lose the people we love at some point. All I can tell you to help prepare you is to enjoy every moment, remain realistic, and plan to celebrate the inevitable when it comes. To take that a step forward, think about your own legacy, how you want to be remembered, and ensure that you depart from this life with nothing left to give.
Don’t let the aforementioned fear of death result in regret. I’d hate for you to regret that on your way out.